Fat, little nautical man.
Chubby sick little mess,
funny when naked no less.
Too scared to have a bath,
using himself to get a laugh.
Fry ups, booze, fish and chips,
look at the size of those hips.
Orders beer aswell as gin,
guilt, anxiety and moral sin.
Never learn though, way too thick,
tummy filled with multi coloured sick.
Jo was ere.
Jo was ere, did'nt like it much though cuz Sam's queer,
"he'll be a virgin for life due to std fear".
I don't blame him though she was rough,
she told plenty a story about getting up the duff.
Sam just ran away from a bird with kids,
his pants are still fresh with skids.
He managed to pull Jo, i'll give him that,
anyone else would need ten pints of black rat.
Her mate was just as bad,
good job our sexy Lee is a proper lad.
Oh shit, wait, he only lasted a minute,
"I gotta get home for the kids now innit".
"I did'nt have a rubber and you need one with girls like that."
Laidler climbs the ladder of Swilly's sweat hearts.
Sexy Lee shows Sam his scrap book of girls he has entertained, Sam gets pissed off as he spots a picture of his Mum.
Showers are for flowers.
Chris Evans snuck onto the bus and into my heart, true Plymouth showed him to his seat.
I'm not saying your gay like Sam but those bracelets make my mind race,
you won't pull any chicks four eyes face.
I love you Dominic but you had a shower,
real boys don't do that flower.
A spair pair of shoes can be quite slick,
a shower and a clean t-shirt makes you a prick.
Sleeping in the same bed as the bad man was a wise move,
it makes you being gay easier to prove.
You could'nt resist the hairy chest,
i'm surprised you did'nt organise this sausage fest.
Rendal's at the back of the bus being naughty,
every stop we make he pulls a Mum of forty.
You can hear him from a mile off,
he got in a fight and was sick on a goth.
He's a mad man on the pull,
he thinks everyone on the bus is dull.
One pint, two pint, three pint more,
not a man in the room he could'nt floor.
He can't control himself when he's out,
not a minute goes by without a shout.
I could'nt never be that loud,
he's a one man storm cloud.