They were all over me mate........
Whilst out on the piss with the lads, Worboys got in a bit of trouble with this pair of swingers. Luckily he had his bike with him so he could give the bird a backy whilst four eyes ran alongside them. They get home and Worboys offers the pair a can of carlsburg whilst they order a curry. The curry comes, gets ate and opens a whole world of uncomfortable chit chat with gaps of awkward silence. Cut a long story short, Worboys finds himself upstairs in bed trying his best to pleasure Polly pension whilst her old man is in the cupboard holding on to his nob like it's the winning ticket at the Grand national. Worboys, doing his best to get round the track as quick as possible finds it hard to cope with the spectators support, "Go on Mathew, go on son". This leads to a poor finish from our Worboys who gets treated like a loser with a kick out of the door. No goodnight kiss for our poor sod Worboys.
Mathew Mountford dribbles when he's pissed,
he can count on one hand the girls he's kissed.
I was comfy sleeping on his sofa bed,
never before has a girl seen his pencil lead.
bang a bird I'll urge him,
secretly knowing I'm actually a virgin.